I was wrong. I’m sorry.

by Kristen on August 29, 2014

I didn’t want it to be true. I wrestled with it until I simply couldn’t deny it anymore.

Last year I promoted myself as someone who could help you make money in your business as a business coach. I totally convinced you.

Because I myself was convinced.

Until I had what we ladies from the south call a “come to Jesus” moment with myself.

On a cozy winter day last December, I took a Friday afternoon to map out next year’s curriculum for clients I was in love with and wanted to keep working with. I LOVE mapping program structure and curricula. I can do it in my sleep – it’s that easy and fun for me.

But at the end of my private jam session I stood back to look at my program, all neatly mapped out and I was…2014-08-29 18.55.38


And when I realized I felt this way, I was mortified.
This is not how I wanted to feel about working with clients whose dreams I loved.

I no longer wanted to do what I convinced everyone I could do.
And I knew if I felt that way, they’d feel that way too.

Can I help you make money in your business? Yes. I’ve done it before.
Last year, my past and current clients combined made multiple 6-figures.

I can indeed help you make money in your business.

But that cold winter day in December, I realized I didn’t want to.

This is now a defining question I ask all of my clients as we clarify their target market:
Not only can you help them with what you do…but…do you WANT to?

I thought I had to teach people how to make money in their business in order to make my business work. Because teaching people how to make money was what “everyone else” did to become successful.

And learning it was what I paid for – isn’t that what everyone pays for?

It’s what the women who were in my program at that time paid me to teach them. (Would people pay me for anything else? For the thing that I really wanted to do?)

I immediately SOS’d my business coach at the time and told her I felt like I was trying to be her, and not me. And told her I couldn’t do it another year. I have a skill at making money. I’m good at it.

But it’s not my gift.

The curriculum I had just created was exactly what the current clients needed. But it wasn’t what I needed to fulfill my purpose in my life.

As the words came out of my mouth and I caught the double bind I was in, it felt like the lights went out in my heart.

If I didn’t offer them what they needed; they’d leave.
If I didn’t step into offering more of my gift, I’d be unfulfilled.

I wish I could say it was all firework’s and magic as I made the course correction from there.

But the awareness sunk in over the course of this year like slowly watching the tide come in at sunset.

Sometimes you have to go from what you’re good at to what you’re gifted at if you want your brand to grow.

(Click it. Tweet it.)

I realized that if I was unfulfilled, I’d never have the energy, bandwidth or gumption to attract the clients who actually need my gift, not just what I’m good at.

I’ll tell you something – Truth Transitions like these are never easy.
How I did it and what happened is for another love letter to you…

But that day when my mentor asked me what I wanted to do instead –

The Truth in my heart was so clear:

I’m here to help people figure out their unique purpose
and make a difference in the world with it.

But the way I built my brand, it was the smallest part of the work I did with them.

And by making it the smallest part, I was valuing it the least.

It was time for me to take my own medicine and have more faith in the gift I was given. This is what I tell my clients all the time that has been my mantra for 2014:

If I’m here on the planet, I’m needed.
The exact thing that I do,
the thing that comes easiest to me,
is needed right now.
I can learn to make a business from it.

Which means I don’t have to do someone else’s gift in order to validate my own.

Don’t get me wrong – once we know our unique purpose, we DO need to brand it appropriately, find the right target market for it, craft the brand message to attract them. We have to figure out whose problems it solves and how by building sustainable business models around it.

But we don’t have to become someone else in the process.

So for everyone who thought I was a business coach and wanted me to teach the nuts and bolts of growing a business to 6-figures…

I’m sorry I mislead myself and by default, you.

And I humbly thank you for understanding my humanity as I grow.

And for the clients who allowed me to teach them with both my skill and my gift, I thank you for your heartfelt trust in me. And wish you the best on your journey.

If building a business (as opposed to the brand) is the kind of support you need, here is who you can talk to:

If you’re a service provider and need someone to teach you how to make consistent income or MORE income I recommend:
Monica Shah, creator of Revenue Breakthrough.

If you’re a product-maker and need someone to teach you how to take your business online, I recommend:
Marie Forleo’s B-school (enrollment opening in February – stay tuned for juicy bonuses from me.)

If you’re a jewelry designer and you need someone to show you how to create a profitable business model, I recommend:
Tracy Willard Matthews’ Flourish & Thrive Academy.

If you are 2 partners in a business who need support to move the business forward, I recommend:
Michael Costuros and Bryan Bayer of Evolution Studio

If you’re a product maker and you want to figure how to get your (handbag, shoe, etc.) into a retail store, I recommend
Sarah Shaw of Entreprenette for personalized 1-on-1 attention.

And if you want to get clear about your personal brand, message, thought leadership, and how you make difference (given all the success you’ve already created).
Then you can talk to me.



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